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Unsolicited Advice from Disco Lemonade

PeaceOf Mayhem Ask DL Life Lessons Survival Suggestions Unsolicited Advice

Sizzling Salutations Lost Souls and aspiring-to-be Lost Souls!

Hope to be helpful with these random pieces of unsolicited advice, summer style! If you've sent me questions I will be sure to address them the moment I return from vacation and will feature the best and most interesting in the August edition! Thanks for hanging in there!

 -Disco Lemonade

1 - Dehydration is a serious issue this time of year. Drink plenty and remember: alcohol counts!

2 - Hosting a backyard BBQ is a great way to bring your friends and family together. Don't worry, these things plan themselves. No one actually eats or sits down, so ice, beverages, and a few hot dogs off the grill (for the die-hards) is all you really need. Play music loud enough that guests parking on the street can easily find your house. A suggestion from personal experience: always be the one to start the water fight.

3 - Up for an adventure? Try one of these sure fire ways to keep hiking exciting. A: Spontaneously go alone. Leave your phone at home and head out on a trail unfamiliar to you. When you've been hiking about an hour, leave the path and let nature be your guide! B: Take a hiking virgin with you. Pack all your favorite drinks in a cooler you carry between you on the trail. Cheers!

4 - Embrace the adage: The tanner you are the whiter your teeth look. Simply set aside one day a week when you can spend 3-4 hours soaking up the sun. There's no need for sunscreen when you're covered in coconut or baby oil.

5 - Relaxing at the public pool should be considered a last resort for cooling off on a hot sunny day. If you must go, stand out in your new speedo or teeny tiny two piece. Demonstrate your superiority by doing a few yoga poses. Spend the next 10 minutes ranking those around you by beauty and body type. Once everyone recognizes your status as better than them, by respectfully averting their eyes, dive in! Note: peeing in the pool myths may be ignored. Pee is harmless when mixed with high levels of chlorine. It is sterile after all!

Make the best of a questionable choice by combining #4 and #5 so you can have a plausible explanation for being at the public pool.

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