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What's a Homey To Do?

PeaceOf Mayhem Advice Column Ask DL Bad Advice Disco Lemonade Kid Conundrum Life Lessons Relationship Advice Survival Suggestions

Dear Disco Lemonade,

I moved in with my girlfriend recently. Unfortunately, she has 5 kids (various ages 16-5 years). At first I though "I can really help out. You know, ease her burden.", but the longer we're together the more I realize - I disagree completely witht he way these kids have been raised. Now what?

Your Faithful Fan,

Horrified Homey

Hello Horrified Homey!

Is it too late to run, run as fast as you can? I thought so. 

Here's your chance to be the non-adult in these kids' lives. Win them over to your side as quickly as possible by undermining their mom any way you can think of. Make her out to be the mean one by avoiding anything that resembles discipline. Let the kids hear you fight and don't hesitate to point out how she's being unfair to the kids. You can't lose!

Enjoy these Precious Memories!

DL

 Dear Disco,

My neighbors SUCK! They always be wakin me up early with their stereo, and keepin me up all hours with their partying. How can these assholes be dealt with - within reason?

Yours Truly,

Sleepy Slim

Greetings Slim!

It is difficult when the people driving you crazy never take a break. I have so many fun ways to help you cope, for example:

When they are up early listening to music, go out to your car and honk your horn in time to the music. When they come out to see what is going on - hold up the rock-on symbol (on your free hand) and head bang in time to the honking.

On a night when the party starts before 7pm, contact your local pastor or LDS church and request a home visit giving your neighbors address. Sign them up for every catalog sales company, vacuum sales demonstration, and traveling sales person you can find. Eventually someone will contact the police and you never even have to get involved. 

Best Wishes!

DL



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